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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Symbol of Rebirth

The past and the future meet in a single touch of experience and freshness:  A symbol of rebirth


Sometimes God sends us answers in many ways; ways that sometimes are strange...unexpected, but they come.
Elizabeth is a musician, a writer and Irish.  She is married to Tony, a wonderful guy, a genius, a  professor of thermodynamics in Ireland. We met once at her friends' Dotty and Jimmy's wedding. She was playing the flute, and him, the guitar.  The setting was idyllic and at that time we were occupied in enjoying each other's company...no big conversations...just mingling in the activities which were planned by this unique couple who was getting married.  I really didn't get to meet them in a personal way.
Five years later, maybe at the right time, we met Tony and Elizabeth again, at an after-wedding gathering of Dotty's sister at their parents' house. To tell you the truth, I remembered them vaguely, but certainly I could picture the sweet flute tunes and guitar playing which we were so privileged to hear at that not so remote time.
This time we engaged in a wonderful conversation about children's education in Ireland, about her husband's passion for photography, and about her writing skills.
I don't know exactly how we started talking about her childhood and how her writing skills and the research that is involved to make a good literature piece  had helped her in looking for her biological father.
And so she started talking about her life story.  Elizabeth's mom divorced her father when she was really young,  and they moved away from him to Europe and slowly drifted apart from each other. Eventually, she got married to a Jewish guy with whom the relationship didn't last long, and afterwards, to another guy whom Elizabeth calls "daddy" up to this day.
Years went by and when Elizabeth was like 10 years old, she learned about heredity, genetics and inherited traits; and being a smart girl as she was, she quickly figured out that neither of the daddies who she had known throughout her life, could be related to her.  One day, armed with valor, she confronted her mom and asked her the dreaded question of who really was her father, because she had realized that her physical traits could not be related to these men.  The mom asked her to forgive her for not telling her the truth sooner, but she had postponed to do so for years and never found the strenght to tell her. From that day on, after the big shock, Elizabeth decided that she had to meet her real dad.
Not so far away, internet access was not a prerrogative and her curiosity just turned into a strong wish and a life goal.
With the appearance of computers and internet , she went again to her mom for help and orientation on where she could begin her search.  The mother was so remorseful about her silence in this matter, that se promised to do everything possible to help her find her father and supported her endeavour.
Some years went by until one day, she was able to track his family and phoned them.  They were very happy to hear from her and wanted to meet her right away,  And so they did and had a wonderful reunion in they United States, in which they reminesced about all those lost years. But her father lived somewhere else and had not visited with his family for a long time.  They only had a phone number and an address for him.
Elizabeth was very happy and anxious to see her father, since she had already found his whereabouts. She took the phone and dialed his number...the answering machine just instructed callers to leave a message.  And so she did.  Days turned into weeks and she never got an answer.  So she decided to write a letter to her father to the address her familhy gave her.  Maybe he did not want to meet her? She waited patiently.
One day, when she had lost hope, in the middle of the night, she was awoken by the insistent ringing of her phone and she heard a man's voice asking her if she was his daughter. Elizabeth couldn't believe it! After all those years she could finally hear the masculine voice of a guy who said he wanted to see her right away and that he had waited all these years in anguish, thinking that he would never get to know her, because he didn't even know where her mother took her.  Elizabeth was leaping with joy.  She told Tony they had to travel this coming weekend to his father's place.  They would take their children.
The meeting was wonderful.  Her father had remarried and had a great family with two children, whom Elizabeth and her family where able to meet.  The father didn't want her to get away from his life.
Elizabeth's discovery, although, rose a surprising feeling in her.  She had found him....and now what?
She started thinking that she didn't have anything in common with this man, except blood ties.  She had two choices: rebuild their lives starting  from the moment they met, or leave it just at the moment where she satisfied her curiosity,  and go.
They decided to give it a try and little by little they are getting acquainted with each other and building a parent-daughter relationship.
This is the story of an unfortunate happening which due to a child's decision and persistence, has come to a happy ending. This could be the story of anybody's child whose life was determined by its parent's bad decisions.  This is a story of the insecurities which can sorround a child brought by the bad or egotistical decisions of its parents.
I wonder if this would have been different and spared so much pain to Elizabeth's growing up if her parents had had a normal, selfless or decent relationship.  It makes you wonder how many kids get affected with mind instabilities because their parents are too proud to give in.  Do we measure always the consequences of our acts?  Do we have the right to decide for our children? Does this story answer questions about the destiny of children who have gone or will go through similar situations?
Big question for someone who is in the same dichotomy! For me, this story gave me clarity of mind about what my role in life is and about the righteousness of my endeavor to keep things where they should be.  I believe God is telling me...."Don't let go".  You are the bridge and don't destroy it.  It will help that child make her transition in a better scope and environment.  Questions will be asked but I will be able to make the grass a little bit greener.  I am a believer that things happen for a reason.  I am not sure what is the reason, but at least I know that me and my husband are holding on for her and that when the right time comes, the transition can be easier.