This is a story written by my son Eric when he was 9 years old, as an assignment given to him by his English teacher, in which she asked them to write a "reverse story" of Little Red Riding Hood, where the evil character, the wolf, is good, and Red Riding Hood is a menace.
THE WOLF’S STORY IN DEVIL RED RIDING HOOD
Do you know what really makes me mad? When people say that I am the bad guy and tried to eat the liar Little Red Riding Hood. She told everybody that I tried to eat her, and I know whom she gets her genes from: her grandma!
She said that I locked her up in a closet and then dressed as her, to trick her granddaughter. Well, now let me tell you the real story.
I was walking in the woods, and suddenly, I smelled freshly baked cookies. I was very hungry because I hadn’t eaten any thing all day. I am a vegetarian, you know. So I then followed the smell to the cookies. I got closer and closer, and then I saw her: the cutest little human girl I had ever seen (well, that’s what I thought at first). So, I then went to talk to her. I saw that she had a basket, and I smelled the odor of the cookies coming from there. I said hello to her. And rudely and nastily, she said: “Get out of my way, you stupid wolf”. I was so surprised that this little girl could be this mean. I told her that I wasn’t a bad wolf, and she didn’t have to be mean with me. But again, she was really rude to me and than picked me up and gave me the jackknife power bomb. I lay there, knocked out for an hour or two, and when I woke up, she was gone. I decided not to give up on her. Maybe she got the wrong impression of me. That was what I was thinking. THEN! I went to look for her again. I smelled her out on the trail through the woods, and then I saw her again. She was walking down the trail and she was kicking the squirrels, throwing rocks at the deer, and spitting at the raccoons. He was truly a terror. I then went running down to her to stop her. Then she said: “Oh, so you want me to stop, huh? Well, ok, I’ll stop…right after I sneak you! Then she gave me a big right hook at my eye, and I fell unconscious again.
I woke up three hours later. I had enough. I had to do something about it! I…I…I was going to tell her grandma. I had heard her talking t herself before, about delivering the cookies to the grandma who lived in the woods. She said she was going to give her a wedgies or something. I than went to look for her grandma’s house.
I looked and looked, and after forty five minutes, I finally found a little red shack with a sign that said: “Grandma’s House”. I knocked on the door, and the door suddenly opened. There seemed to be no one in the house, so I went inside to look for her. Then, suddenly, and old hag dressed in a wrestling suit jumped out and hit me. She then looked at me, and said: “Oh, I thought you were Riding Hood”. I said: “Well, I am not! As a matter of fact, I came here to talk about her. She was really mean to me and the…” “Yeah, Yeah, shut up!” she told me. Then she told me to dress up as her to trick Red Riding Hood, so she could get her from behind. And she said that if I didn’t, she would beat the heck out of me. So of course, I had to say yes. I then realized that this family was real rough.
She gave me the robe and glasses and hair net, and told me to get the door when Riding Hood came; she would be hiding in the closet.
Five minutes later, Riding Hood knocked on the door, and I told her to come in. She came over to see me and said: “Oh grandma…what big…eyes…you have!” I then said: “Oh the better to see you with, honey!”
Then, she jumped up, pulled off her coat, and was dressed in wrestling clothes. She said: “Forget this part! We do it every time and it’s BORING!” She then grabbed me, gave me a wedgies, and threw me across the room.
Suddenly, her grandma popped out and yelled: “TRICKED YOU!” Riding Hood was very surprised, but then got back in focus and wrestled her grandma. There were punches swinging this way, punches swinging that way, kicking and slamming, and the house was shaking all over.
After an hour, the fight ended and Riding Hood and her Grandma were lying on the floor knocked out and bloody. I was sitting on the bed looking at them, when suddenly a big man with an ax came into the house and looked at me, and then looked at Riding Hood and Grandma. He woke them up and asked what had happened.
Now, this is what got me where I am now. They said: “Oh! I was the wolf. He tried to kill us!” Then, the hunter swung his ax around and hit me upside the head with the side of the ax. And when I woke up, I was in a jail cell.
Well, that’s my side of the story, and it’s true. Now you know how much of a….Ok! Ok! I’m going! Let me go! That’s the execution guy. He’s strapping me into the electric chair. Oh! Didn’t I tell you? I am getting the death penalty. I hate Red Riding Hood! Just tell my family that I am very, very….ZZAH! ZZAH! ZZAH! ZZAH! ZZAH!
9 years old, 1998